January 2009
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So I was out and about today, running some errands with the precious time I was able to borrow my mom’s car. I happened to see a man holding a sign saying that it was 40% off at Circuit City, so I went to pick at the bones that are left of said retailer. I popped in and spotted the van from the sign place I used to be a graphic designer for on my way through the parking lot. So the second...
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Dad: Come over here, Lisa. Do you want to hear the weirdest song ever?
Lisa: Are you sure? You've shown me some pretty weird songs... (Recalls "Poop Ship Destroyer" by Ween as one of them.)
Dad: Seriously - listen. It's like the guy's singing, but he's not saying any words.
Lisa: Okay... *Listens through the headphones for a few seconds.*
Lisa: DAD!! This is in Japanese!!
Dad: Really?
Lisa: Yeah!
Dad: (In disbelief) Noooo...
Lisa: I swear! It sounds like something out of an anime.
Dad: Okay. I feel dumb now.
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Dude, when you call me can you please think of something to talk about first? Every time you call, it’s always, “Hi, just calling to see how you’re doing.” I’m doing the same as I was yesterday. I’m unemployed and pretty miserable, save for a few things and people keeping me sane. You know the drill. I’m into things that aren’t obscure, but...
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1.29.09
qod:
Remember that New Years Resolution?
What was it?
Have you followed thru on it?
I didn’t really make a resolution. I hardly ever do, unless there are some extreme circumstances. Mine last year was to ditch my stalker ex. That happened.
I suppose the unspoken and understood resolution is to get in shape again. My health went downhill after I got into a car accident, not because...
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Okay. I’m ashamed to admit this, so bare with me.
So, I had this serious, crackhead craving for something sweet. For some reason, I thought it would be a brilliant idea to make Hyperactive Candied Choco-Ramen, because I’d never made it before and maybe, just maybe, it would scratch that itch.
I don’t… want to talk about it. Fucking ridiculous. For those of you who are...
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“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving...”
– Albert Einstein
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1.28.09
qod:
Dear Tumblr,
Do you have pets?
What are they’re names?
I have 2 dogs.
Darby and Madame Chang.
Have a great gpoyw!
I do have one pet. His name is Lewis and he’s the cutest guinea pig evar.
See? This guy was adopted by me last Spring and he seems to appreciate it.
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When Moms Learn To Use Facebook should be a horror movie title.
I had a status up and one of my old classmates responded. THEN my mom remembered said classmate from our CCD class and responded to her informing her that I still live at my old house.
I went in and made sure to add in that I only just moved back due to financial difficulty and layoffs at my old job.
How embarrassing to have my...
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1.27.09
qod:
What would be your porn name?
It’s your first pet and the street you grew up on.
ie, mine is Babette Courtland.
I’m glamorous.
Thanks for answering. :)
Mine would be Chauncy Pembroke. Which… Sounds really, really not sexy.
At all.
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There is something in this mess to be happy about.
Moving back home to save some money for a while did get me away from my former best friend and roommate. I all but forgot about her drama-queen ways until I noticed her away message and status.
Her way of expressing anger about her boyfriend’s words or actions is to (very maturely) leave these passive-aggressive, hostile AIM away messages...
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This is sort of stealing an idea from my boyfriend’s bff (teehee) and roommate, but I think he had the right idea, getting his A+. I’ve been thinking about doing it for years and didn’t really have a tangible reason for it. I mean ultimately, desktop support isn’t my career goal.
Could it get me by for a few years until I do get my degree and a career doing what I want?
...
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Metric - Raw Sugar
This one just really seems to...
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We’re now at the stage in the relationship where my boyfriend of six/almost seven months is comfortable farting in front of me.
No good can come of this.
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Please, oh please, sweet merciful Jeebus - do not let me end up like my parents.
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1.26.09
qod:
What is your dream job?
My dream job would be to deejay at an indie or alternative rock radio station.
If I had my way, I’d work for XM. Unfortunately, even though I do think satellite radio is the future, I think XM is going to go under with our shaky economy and people cutting out frivolous, entertainment-related things.
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My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-1-25) →
Grateful Dead (1)
Vanessa Daou (1)
DJ Danger Mouse (1)
Steel Pulse (1)
Israel Kamakawiwo’ole (1)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
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1.25.09
qod:
Dear Tumblr,
Do you have a re-occurring dream?
What is it?
Thanks for the support
Check my tumblr
I’ve had this recurring dream since I was four, or maybe even earlier.
For some reason, I’m climbing up a spiral staircase and at the top there are no more stairs, so I fall off - straight down the middle of it. I don’t have this one as much anymore, but I do still...
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1.24.09
qod:
Whats your cell ringtone?
My main ringtone is “Portions for Foxes” by Rilo Kiley.
Bad news / Baby, I’m bad news / I’m bad news, bad news, bad news…
My boyfriend’s is the solo from “I Believe in a Thing Called Love” by The Darkness.
My brother’s is “Buddy Holly” by Weezer
and my parents’ both have...
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Mom: If you wanted more I could have just made another pot!
Dad: LET IT GO. It's not even concerning you, so why don't you let it go?
Mom: STOP IT I GET IT. STOP IT I GET IT. STOP IT I GET IT. STOP IT I GET IT.
Me: Thanks for waking me up, guys!
Both of them: ...
Me: No, really! Thank you for making sure your very necessary and important argument about- what was it? Coffee? Was loud enough for me to hear. Because an argument about a fucking beverage is worth waking up for at 8am on a Saturday morning. I'm officially enlightened.
(They finally cut it out and had no rebuttal. I can't wait to move out of here again.)
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Q: What is christianity?
A: It is the belief that a two-thousand-year-old jewish zombie, can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-women was convinced by a talking snake to eat an apple of a magical tree in a wonderland.
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Greeter: Return?
Me: Mmm hmm!
(He puts a red sticker on my bag)
Greeter: I'd like to ask you a question.
Me: Sure.
Greeter: Do you think I should sell my piano? I'm going to be moving to Texas.
Me: Maybe, if it's big, but-
Greeter: It's just an electric one. (Gestures the size of a keyboard with his hands)
Me: Oh, okay. Well you would probably have no trouble bringing it.
Greeter: I'm going by airplane. Would let let that kind of thing on the plane do you think?
Me: I've seen instruments on airplanes before, but likely you'd have to keep it in a case and check it down below.
Greeter: Okay. What about a TV, do they allow those on planes?
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1.23.09
qod:
What annoys you the most?
I’m most annoyed with elitism and the concept that what someone spends on clothing, food, culture, housing, whatever, makes them better than other people.
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1.22.09
qod:
Whats the best advice you ever gave/got?
The best advice I ever gave was in the form of this huge tirade on my OkCupid blog/journal/thing. It was about how girls DO like nice guys, it’s just that the guys who are nice are total doormats. We don’t want abuse, we just want someone with a spine who can make a decision without consulting us and has some confidence at all. I had...
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God Only Knows by PDF Format
Amazing, 8-bit...
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All of my socks have suddenly decided to spontaneously combust in the same week. I’ve already thrown out about five pairs, because I refuse to wear hole-y socks like I used to when I was a kid. It was always embarrassing when I had to take off my shoes for gymnastics or something and I had a big effing hole in my sock that made my cute little toes look not-so-cute. Like a hobo. A...
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“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom,...”
– Charles Dickens
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This, summed up, is a lot of what I’m seeing these days.
We have an opening in Customer Service at ABC Company! This is a great opportunity with many benefits and a possibility of advancement… eventually! Requires over 3 years similar experience and a high school diploma. Your responsibilities will be to greet customers warmly, answer phones, file papers, deliver mail, lose your...
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pru⋅ri⋅ent [proor-ee-uh nt] adj.
having, inclined to have, or characterized by lascivious or lustful thoughts, desires, etc.
causing lasciviousness or lust.
having a restless desire or longing.
Yeah, that about sums it up for this evening. And yesterday. Maybe the days before that too.
I’m wayyy too excited to get my Lucid Dream #14 (read: adult novelty device) in the mail. ...
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“We always believe our first love is our last, and our last love our first.”
– George John Whyte-Melville
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1.21.09
qod:
If you were to name a new Crayola color to honor you, what would your color be?
‘Ruby Red’ because that’s the name of my favorite hair color and my favorite juice drink.
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I’m trying my best to do things to better my life right now, but I do have to fight through a dense cloud of ‘meh’ to get out of bed, take a shower, look decent and search/apply for jobs.
But on the lulz side? When I applied for unemployment and the lady on the phone asked for the first four letters of my mother’s maiden name, I spelled out to her D-I-C-K. And no, I...